How to Handle Criticism and Use It to Fuel Personal Growth
Anytime you try to change your life, you will experience resistance. Some resistance will come as criticism from family, friends, acquaintances, or even people you don’t know. Ultimately, you will experience criticism at the hands of anyone who thinks their opinion is more important than yours.
You aren’t alone. Some of the greatest change-agents and leaders in history faced criticism. But they were also some of the most powerful change instigators. Galileo Galilei, Ghandi, Thomas Edison, Rosa Parks, and Nelson Mandela are just a few. They didn’t let someone else’s critical words keep them from being change instigators. You shouldn’t either.
I have spent much of my life fearing criticism. If 10 people encouraged me and 1 person criticized me, I focused on the words of the 1 critic. In part, I didn’t publish my book or launch my business for well over a year because I was afraid of criticism.
In his book The Daily Messenger, Jonathan Milligan writes, “...no one who’s truly making a difference escapes critique.”
He then claims that we can use criticism as a tool on the road to creating the life of our dreams.
This prompted me to ask the question: how do we use criticism as a tool on our pathway to change instigation
There are 2 key steps in this process.
1. Refuse to Let Criticism Define You
Don’t hand over your sense of worth to the critics in your life. It’s unwise. And it’s a recipe for an unhappy existence. Instead of instigating change and creating the life you’ve always wanted, you’ll end up trying to please people who are ultimately unpleasable. Critical people are unhappy people. If you think their criticism of you is harsh, imagine the how they speak to themselves.
The more you let others’ critiques into your psyche, the greater chance there is for those words to tap into your insecurities and trigger your inner critic. This lessens your power to create the change you so desperately want.
Practice the habit of separating your identity from the opinions of others and you won’t get tripped up by their words.
Eleanor Roosevelt is credited as saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t give your critics permission to make you feel less than.
This leads to the second key in dealing with criticism
2. Use Criticism as a Tool to Refine You
When you separate your identity from the opinion of others, you can listen and take away anything constructive.
Maybe there is something to hear from someone’s critique. Maybe there isn’t. Detaching from criticism allows you to extract any value so you can discard the rest. Use any truth or wisdom from that critique to propel you into a better future.
When you do this, you transform your critic into a coach. They may try to tear you down with their words, but you can use their criticism as a tool for self improvement.
How to Put it Into Practice
The next time you face harsh words, take a moment and breathe. Separate your identity from the criticism. Once you feel ready to hear the criticism objectively, see if there’s anything to learn from it. If so, great. Learn as someone striving to create the life of their dreams. If there isn’t anything to be learned, throw out those words like yesterday’s garbage.
